Today, we would like to reflect on another mindful attitude, Non-judgment. We illustrate how tuning in to the present moment when applying this attitude can influence how we relate to horses. Here is an excerpt on this topic from our upcoming book project, Sharing The Now: Mindfulness Exercises To Enhance The Connection With Your Horse.
When you notice everything that is occurring in the here and now, even if you don’t like what you are noticing, you are staying present and aware in a nonjudgmental way. Why does that matter? Because noticing things in this way, even when what is being observed may not be desirable, makes it possible to see reality unfolding RIGHT NOW in a more accurate and objective way. Being nonjudgmental works hand in hand with being open and curious about everything arising in the present moment—just as it is. For example, if you decide to notice your bodily sensations in the present moment without censoring or avoiding anything specific, then you notice both the relaxed and the tense feelings, along with possibly painful areas of the body. You can notice both these things in exactly the same way—that is, without judgment. The aim is to practise accepting what arises in each moment, rather than clinging to certain things or pushing away others. Riders can also apply this nonjudgmental attitude when they are paying attention to their horses, whether they are grooming, doing a fundamental riding pattern, or working on a more complicated routine.
To help unpack this idea of being nonjudgmental we want to share a detailed account of working with our horse, Arya, who we recently adopted from a rescue foundation. We are still developing a relationship with Arya and gaining her respect. Learning from, and training horses, is indeed a lifelong journey. Arya is about fourteen years old, and we think she was left in her pasture a fair amount, so she was rather isolated from people when she was younger. As such, she tends towards “herd-bound” behaviour, which is a term that refers to anxiety-driven attachment-based behaviours that horses may display when they feel threatened when they are away from their herd—in particular, when they are away from a specific buddy in the herd.
When she first arrived, Arya was quarantined in her own paddock. We knew we had to work on creating a relationship of trust with her from scratch. We spent time with her, groomed and talked to her, and went through some basic groundwork exercises and leading. Over multiple sessions, we noticed that she became slightly more trusting of us, more responsive to our cues, and became relaxed and attentive more quickly during the sessions. As with any experience involving horses, there were good days and bad days; overall though, things were progressing at a reasonable pace.
During our first session with her after she had boarded with other horses (once the quarantine period was finished), she again demonstrated behaviours based on her herd-bound tendencies. She was distractible and whinnying; her eyes constantly sought out her herd buddies. We experienced new, disconnected moments with her unlike what we had experienced in our prior sessions, and we had to frequently remind her to pay attention and follow the lead movements as gracefully as she’d been doing before. Her behaviours in this session were hard for us to work with, since we had to assert ourselves often when she tried to run through us to get to her buddies. As well, we had to be swift enough to get out of the way of potential kicking or other stress-driven behaviours. The session did not flow as well we’d expected given the previous successful sessions.
So, how can mindfulness help us in such a situation? If we apply mindfulness when working with Arya, we commit to being completely tuned in to each moment, even if we don’t like it.
In a less successful session like this, some people might become overwhelmed by emotions. They may start thinking of past successful sessions and how different this session is. They might also worry about the future, think poorly of their skills or the horse’s skills, and so on. They could start negatively labelling their horse, which can affect future interactions. It is also worth noting that most people don’t always accurately label events or behaviours either. For instance, we could have started labelling Arya as “difficult,” rather than staying objective about the situation. However, by reminding ourselves to stay curious and open, without judgment, other possibilities arose when we reflected on this situation. Taking an objective stance helped us to identify that one possible explanation for her changed behaviour was anxiety due to being away from the herd or not feeling safe in our presence. Maybe she did not yet view us as leaders capable of easing her anxiety.
Alternatively, Arya’s behaviours could be related to being dominant, testing limits, and not acknowledging us as leaders. Perhaps an altogether different explanation accounted for her new behaviour. There are many reasons for a horse to behave in particular ways at a specific time and within a certain environment, and here, if we were overwhelmed with our own thoughts and emotions, we would be unable to stay objective enough to work through the situation effectively with her. We expect that applies to most equestrians. The risk here is becoming disconnected from your horse, thereby missing out on moments where you could adjust and correct, and thus stay safe if things escalate.
Mindful awareness can help you step away from this overwhelming place and tune in to RIGHT NOW. If you become aware of what is happening in the present moment, in one moment after the other, you can detect the swish of a tail, or ears pinned back, or increased bodily tension, and respond in a timely manner. This kind of mindful attention illustrates how you can fine-tune your communication with your horse.
When you can stay nonjudgmental while noticing things you don’t expect or like, it facilitates problem solving and may even change the situation for the better. Instead of spending a lot of energy on whether you or your horses are doing something “wrong,” you can instead notice that you are judging. Then, you can try to remember that judging isn’t helpful if the aim is to stay aware of the moment. This understanding can bring your focus back to working with your horses objectively, so you stay tuned in to them and minimize potentially distressing emotions for you both. In this way, both you and your horse can shift to more “successful” behaviours. Opportunities will always emerge to learn and grow from both the so-called wrong times and from the successful times. The challenge is to be open and embrace this full range of experience—which we know from experience is not always easy.
When you are aware of what is on your mind, but also recognize that you are not fully focused on events in the here and now, this is an opportunity for you to refocus or shift back into the present experience. This process of noticing where the mind is at, and intentionally bringing attention back to focusing on the task at hand, is what mindfulness is all about. Experienced meditators practising mindfulness meditation engage in this process thousands of times over their years of practice. Often, people think they should always be focused in the present, in order to be mindful. This isn’t how human brains work. Rather, the very act of noticing when the mind is distracted and refocusing attention is part of being mindfully tuned in to the present moment.