This is the third Step, after 1. Setting Intention and 2. Internal Noticing, in our series on connecting with your horse in a mindful way. We now discuss Step 3. Watching Your Horse. For today’s post, we’d like to share an article by Anna Blake, reprinted with her permission, on Calming Signals and how we can impact the space between the horse and ourselves. Calming Signals are a collection of nonverbal signals demonstrated by horses to signify that they are in a stressful situation. They convey anxiety to us, and can be just as important to know about as the signs that horses are relaxed. Anna Blake, Horse Advocate, Author, Speaker and Equine Pro, has much to say about the subject on her blog. This particular article from her blog, Calming Signals: YOUR Response is an introduction to the topic. We invite you to read through her articles and learn more about this valuable source of insight. Watching horses means observing with an open mind, although we inevitably have mental filters and preconceptions about what horses are trying to communicate. We may project our own feelings onto them, we may misinterpret things, and the key is to be as factual and descriptive as possible. View them with a beginner’s mind, which is the mindful attitude of watching and experiencing something as if it’s the first time you’ve noticed that thing. Imagine you are an intrepid explorer in a new world, looking at the landscape and taking in your horse for the first time. The reason that beginner’s mind is so impactful is that every time we see or watch horses is a brand new experience. We just forget that simple truth. Every event can be a new beginning, with new opportunities to learn and be a better horse person. Here, in Step 3 of Connecting With Your Horse series, is an article by Anna Blake titled Calming Signals: YOUR Response. We have included an excerpt here and invite you to read the entire article. You can either click on the article title, or on the link here.
I’ll start with the bad news. For those of us who grew up cantering in the living room and then one day heard the term “natural horsemanship” and thought it meant we could be a horse in a real herd, I have some lousy-bad news:
There will never be a day when a horse looks at a human and thinks they see a horse. Give it up. It was just a sales pitch for something else entirely. You don’t get to be a horse. Sorry.
The good news is that if we become a slightly more well-mannered version of ourselves and listen in their language, horses will return an in-the-moment relationship so intense, intelligent, and profound, that for the first time in your life, you won’t mind not being a horse.
I’ve written about calming signals since 2014. Calming signals are subtle body messages that horses use to let us know they feel anxiety or conflict; that they are no threat and we don’t need to act aggressively. The signal demonstrates desired behavior from us at the same time. He might look away, stretching his head down as a way of asking us to relax and go slow.
Just to be clear, calming signals are not something humans do to calm horses. It’s the language horses use to calm us. We tend to be too loud and bossy.
First, think of the barn as a foreign country. Then decide what kind of tourist you want to be. You can play the part of a privileged elitist throwing alms to the poor or a peace-maker negotiating with heads of state. It’s up to you but you don’t own this place. You are a visitor. Remember your manners.
First, clean yourself up. Take this part very seriously. No, they don’t care what you wear but clean your mind up. Excuse your emotions, you won’t need them. Same with expectations and plans; horses don’t think about the future. You’re the only part of the interchange you can control, so take your time. Square your shoulders and balance your thoughts. Every time you want to talk, breathe instead. Get comfortable with silence. Learn to love the peace in waiting because it’s real.
If quieting your mind is hard for you, consider a yoga or meditation practice. Do it for your horse. If your emotions rule your life, you’re in overwhelm and horses don’t like that. Sure, you can use your horse as a therapist but why would you want to put those feelings of pain and insecurity on him? (Says the woman who literally went for couple’s therapy to talk about her horse.)
Warm up your senses. Tune your eyes to small things. Listen to your surroundings and slow down your perception of time so that you can be fully present. Each of their senses is more acute than ours so we need to start by being sure we are using the marginal senses that we do have to their full potential.
Think more awareness and less intellect. If you wonder if a response is a coincidence or that you might have imagined it, then believe it was real. With your limited senses, it’s probably true.
At the same time, be strict not to draw human conclusions. A horse might be giving you welcoming signals but doesn’t mean that he’s a sweetheart or a caregiver or a Zen master. Just let him be a horse.