Feeling intense emotions when you are in your horse’s presence can sometimes be confusing. Intuitively, it is more comfortable to express joy or excitement around them. However, what about when you feel anxious or frustrated or sad? Are these emotions we should shield from them? Although horses are sentient beings and we don’t endorse having emotional outbursts near them for their physical and psychological safety, there are benefits in being honest and open about your feelings near your horse while considering certain factors. Here is an excerpt from our book project, Sharing The Now: Connecting With Your Horse Through Mindfulness, on this topic.
Your ability to mindfully notice what you are feeling, and what the horses you are around may also be feeling, can shape the process of spending time with them. For example, if you are tired and frustrated after a long workday, and enter the barn in that frame of mind, you tend to filter out important information about the surroundings, your horse’s body language, and even how your own body physically feels. And when you are frustrated or anxious, your horse may perceive potential dangers in the environment, and, in turn, become distractible and nervous. Even if your horse is not responding directly to your emotional state and is distressed for other reasons through the session, being caught up in your own emotions prevents you from noticing this and responding clearly to defuse the situation. Another possibility is that you may become distracted by intense emotions or thoughts that arise during the session, depending on whether things are going as you had expected. In these various scenarios, neither you nor your horse can settle into the work of the session and fully pay attention to what you are doing together. If you are experiencing emotions without being aware of them, it will be difficult to forge a connection with your horse—and the likelihood of a successful session is diminished.
When you notice your emotions in the present moment, this adds clarity to your experience. Horses detect your true emotions, whether you do or not, and pretending that you feel differently than you do will likely confuse them during your interactions. This can be potentially dangerous and distressing for both of you. Regardless of how you are feeling, being honest with yourself about how you feel (rather than ignoring your emotions or pretending everything is fine) demonstrates honesty to your horse and prepares you for what arises with them that day. If you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, you can either decide not to work with your horse that day, or you can proceed—while staying aware of those emotions and the impact on your horse during the session.
In our experience, staying mindfully aware of emotions and thoughts can enhance flow in a session and helps to create a place of inner balance. If you are able to observe your own and your horse’s feelings with equanimity—from the start to the end of a session—you can respond with clarity and intention when feelings arise in either you or your horses. Your horses also respond positively to your energy (which could also be thought of as your “body language” or “state of being”). Things flow more smoothly, movements are confident and fluid, and the session feels more natural, regardless of what you hope to achieve during that time.