There are days when everything is in flow and there are days when you have no clue what the Universe is trying to teach you. Horses present many opportunities for you to learn how to navigate chaos. As you drop into spending time with them, you can never quite predict how things will go. Sure, you may have an idea, especially if this is a horse you know well and you’ve learned his or her quirks and typical reactions. However, nothing is wholly predictable and there are always opportunities where you can apply the MINDFUL ATTITUDES. Here is a reflection by Shreyasi on how the mindful attitudes can help navigate the chaos that is part of life. In our Mindful Attitudes Series, we’ll reflect on these and other Mindful Attitudes. In this post however, we have included most of them in a single reflection.
What are the Mindful Attitudes? They are ways in which one pays attention to things happening in the present moment. This past weekend at the boarding stable, I started riding Stella in the outdoor arena on a sunny perfect afternoon. Shortly after, I noticed one of the stable owners, Rhonda, going into the weanling paddock to halter one of our young ones, Violet. Wouldn’t you know it? Violet tore around the paddock and ended up on the track when Rhonda and Sheldon tried to place her in a smaller area with her buddy Grace. Between Grace stomping because she was tied up, Violet running along the track, the rest of the weanlings tearing after her inside their paddock, and me sitting stunned on Stella in the arena (who wondered why we’d stopped riding!), it was quite the picture of chaos. This is a typical horse day! So much coming at you that you don’t quite know where to start (in terms of responding).
That afternoon, I ended up getting off Stella, tying her by the barn, and watching Violet being lunged in a round pen by Sheldon (finally). Grace was back in the paddock with the others. After some time in the round pen, Sheldon and Rhonda managed to get Violet’s blanket off (which was the whole point of this event occurring in the first place!). After a cooling down and wash, Violet was back to her perky friendly self. It was clear that she was now in the next moment, i.e. the here and now. Whereas I was still reeling from what had just happened and how quickly things had shifted from quiet stillness to utter craziness! Violet was showing me right now that there is a different way of experiencing things, by staying in the here and now and being mindfully aware.
This is how our horses can teach us. This is an example of a situation where employing the Mindful Attitudes would help me through a moment of chaos and to respond more skilfully. Mindful Attitudes include Being Non-judgmental, Beginner’s Mind, Compassion and Letting Go. Let’s see how they can help!
Let’s start with BEING NON-JUDGMENTAL. This refers to the approach of noticing everything occurring in the here and now, even if you don’t like what you are noticing. Why does that matter? Because when noticing things in this way, you see reality unfolding RIGHT NOW in a more accurate and objective way. Being NON-JUDGMENTAL works hand-in-hand with being CURIOUS about everything arising in the present moment- just as it is. For example, if you decide to notice your body sensations in the present moment, then you notice both the relaxed and the tense and possibly painful areas of your body, and you notice both these things in exactly the same way without judgment. You practice accepting what arises in each moment, rather than clinging to certain things or pushing away other things. When you allow ourselves to notice everything, from a place of openness and curiosity, then your awareness expands to take everything in without censoring or avoiding anything specifically.
How can being NON-JUDGMENTAL help with situations such as Violet racing through the boarding stable? By noticing what is happening without pushing it away or getting stuck in a state of stress, a non-judgmental attitude allows me to respond, notice safety issues and to act quickly without interpreting or thinking excessively about what is happening. There is time for reflection on the thoughts and feelings later, if I choose. It also allows me to notice what Violet is ACTUALLY like right now rather than dwelling on what she SHOULD be like. It allows me to avoid negatively labeling her and instead to stay objective. This is HOW IT IS right now, and I can intentionally choose whether to respond to a situation by problem solving or, when that may not be an option, I can work on accepting things as they are.
In this way, being NON-JUDGMENTAL frees you from spending all of your energy thinking of what you or your horses are doing “wrong”. If you start to judge things, you can notice this, remind yourself that judging isn’t helpful right now, and intentionally focus back on working with your horse right now. Overthinking and/or judging either your horse or yourself takes you away from the present moment, which is the only moment in which positive change can occur. In the words of Sue McIntosh, Healing Hooves founder and certified equine facilitated wellness trainer, mentor and practitioner, “ “The times when things seem to be going “wrong” can often offer us so much more in terms of learning and growth than the times when it all seems “successful”.”
The next Mindful Attitude, BEGINNER’S MIND, is a way of paying attention to the present moment while knowing that every session with your horse is a fresh start. No session is completely the same as the one before. Thus, you remain focused on the here and now every time you see him or her. Regularly seeing your horse as if for the very first time is easier said than done, and it is natural to form expectations of your horse over time. Remember though that one’s expectations are not as accurate as the facts unfolding in the present moment. Reminding yourself that every session is a fresh start can be one way to stay open-minded. In fact, adopting a BEGINNER’S MIND means that you spend less time in your head and more time sensing and responding to what is happening in front of you. Staying open to how Violet was on that particular afternoon, including noticing her excitement, panic, sass and determination not to be caught, is important information to utilize in deciding what to do next.
The Mindful Attitude of COMPASSION implies applying a ‘soft’ approach when you start to feel critical of either your horse or yourself. Mistakes happen, things can be misunderstood, and this is all part of the lifelong learning that every horse person experiences. There is so much to learn about horses, and we never stop learning. When you notice that you are criticizing yourself and/or your horse in the here and now, then allow that to be a cue to embrace a gentler approach towards you and your horse. Certainly there was a lot of criticism going on for me in those moments, as I criticized myself for not handling Violet in a certain way and thereby perhaps contributing to her behaviour. I even had fleeting moments of irritation with little Violet for not letting herself be haltered. Practicing a COMPASSIONATE attitude means that if this situation happens and I start criticizing, then I take a deep breath and become gentler to myself and to her. This approach frees up a lot of mental and emotional energy that can be employed in pursuing the next steps in a situation.
The last Mindful Attitude we’ll discuss today is LETTING GO. In this example, LETTING GO is a way of paying attention to all of the events arising without getting overwhelmed or stuck. It describes the process of observing events as they happen in the present moment and being able to notice them without getting bogged down in intense thoughts or emotions that may come up. We see and hear what is happening, and intentionally act without letting the intense thoughts or emotions trap us. In this example, I had to be willing to let go of feelings of being overwhelmed, frustrated, disappointed or anything else like that. I also had to let go of my assumption that this SHOULD NOT have happened in the first place. All I can change is how I respond to this moment, and the present is the only time in which I can make any impact through my actions.
Isn’t it amazing how spending time with horses can help one practice these Mindful Attitudes? We encourage you to practice paying attention in these ways when things are relatively calm. Starting there makes it a little easier to use these attitudes to pay attention when things “AREN’T CALM”, i.e. when we are immersed in the CHAOS that is loving and learning with horses!