What does authenticity mean to each and every one of us? This is an important discussion to have at the start of a new creative project. It can also be helpful to check in with oneself every now and then to explore whether one is being authentic in various parts of life.
How can one know if he or she is being authentic? There is no single answer for this. In our perspective, when we are true to ourselves and the values that we hold as important to us, for example being kind to one another or being honest, there is a sense of ease and flow in the day to day. When noticing things about oneself, in particular things that are disliked, judgments may arise. When mindfully tuning in to thoughts and feelings, one can notice these judgments and then consciously step away from them to pay attention to the selected focus of awareness in that moment. This will make more sense when you start to practice the mindfulness exercises to be posted in future.
It may be easier to know when one isn’t authentic to one’s life purpose or values, however they are defined. Burnout, feeling lost or at a crossroads in life, being cynical or disillusioned can all be signs of times when actions don’t align with values or the external persona does not match the internal experience. Sometimes there are external pressures at work, in relationships or other parts of life, which interfere with being authentic. Taking a step back and re-evaluating can be helpful, although daunting, in these moments. Practicing being mindful can make us feel more comfortable noticing what’s going on inside us, such as when we reflect on such moments of inauthenticity.
Let’s take a lesson from The Velveteen Rabbit, a children’s book which bears infinite wisdom for grownups as well, in our opinion. Here is a conversation on what it means to be Real, to be ourselves, in all our messy and complicated real-ness.
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit
This resonates with us, since being Real does not mean being perfect. Being authentic can mean various things. Being authentic can be thought of as being true to one’s deepest self, and not pretending to be someone or something other than that. Others’ standards don’t define the Real-ness inside. Listening to what makes sense inside and living according to what one believes is true will help create authenticity. When there is a moment of confusion, things feel unknown or just not right somehow, we encourage you to try one simple thing: Pause and breathe. Look inside you. Maybe this may be the moment where things seem a little clearer, or maybe not. However, pausing and tuning into yourself ultimately brings you closer to your Real or authentic self.
There is a lot of discussion in the mindfulness world about how to practice and speak of mindfulness with authenticity, and to speak from a place of personal experience. Unless one has lived moments of mindful awareness, the definitions used to explain the concepts to others don’t ring true. When one sets the intention to consciously practice through the ups and downs of life, keeping at it even when one feels completely stuck, it becomes possible to connect with others going through the same journey. It can be a struggle to focus on the present moment with curiosity and compassion. Some days it may feel impossible!
Although we do not claim to be lifelong experts on mindfulness or on horses, we speak from our own experiences and intend to be authentic when communicating these experiences. Remember: in a world of self-doubt, trust in yourself, and your capability to live in increased awareness of the present moment with new perspectives. As you embark on trying the mindfulness practices and exercises that we’ll describe in this blog, we invite you to reflect on what being authentic or Real means for you. This can be a reflective journey spanning a lifetime, and we hope that you can take these first steps with us by exploring the reading in this blog.
